Let It Be
by chrisfaithalin
Summary: Prologue to ‘Growing Closer’. Songfic to Let it be by beatles. Hermione helps Harry comes to terms with his grief over the death of Ron and Sirius and help him figure out what to do with his life. Future hh implied.


Disclaimer: So I do not own Harry Potter or Let it Be by the Beatles As you know this a prologue to Growing Closer. Although, you do not have to have read it to understand this story. This story is divided into three sections of Harry and Hermione's 7th year. The song Let it Be separates the three sections. Ron and Sirius died during the last fight with Voldemort and this shows how Hermione helps Harry figure his life out and come to terms with his grief. There is a little implied romance but that comes later in Growing Closer. I thought I should explain that for any of you who have not read that story. Well, lets get on with the show.  
  
Let It Be  
  
And when the broken hearted people   
  
living in the world agree  
  
there will be an answer let it be  
  
For though they may be parted   
  
there is still a chance that they will see  
  
there will be an answer let it be  
  
The night sky was full of scattered stars that lit up the vacant grounds of Hogwarts. At the unearthly hour of the cool May night, no signs of life could be found except for the occasional noises from Peeves and a lone figure in the highest astronomy tower. The shadowy figure was sitting on the ground against the stone wall and staring up at the clear sky outside with his shockingly green eyes. His hands ran their way through his mop of unruly raven colored hair and stopped at cupping his cheek to support his face. The mystery person's whole body posture was slumped from exhaustion and frustration.   
  
Hermione, a bushy haired 17 year old climbed the stairs to the astronomy tower in search of her best friend and fellow head boy. She had peeked into his neighboring room earlier tonight to find his bed empty and no sign to where he could be. Her first instinct was to check his favorite tower. Lately, since Ron and Sirius's death he seemed to look for relief from the worlds prying eyes and Harry found that up in the tallest turret of the castle.   
  
Finally reaching the top of the hundreds of stairs Hermione found herself staring at Harry who sat against the cold hard stonewall. His head was being supported by his hand. He was talking to himself about some things that have been on his mind.  
  
"Why can't they just leave me alone? How am I supposed to know what I am going to do? An auror they tell me I should be. 'What a perfect agent he would make. The Boy Who Lived fighting the continuous threat against the dark forces." Harry kept talking to himself, trying to work his way through his many muddled thoughts.  
  
"Harry?" Hermione whispered pulling Harry out of his reverie and his posture immediately stiffened to make himself look larger.  
  
"What do you want?" Harry snapped impatiently startling Hermione with the harshness of his tone. He realized that it was Hermione. "I am sorry Hermione. You just startled me. I thought you had been another of the many pestering people" Harry apologized sincerely.  
  
At hearing the tiredness and honesty of Harry's voice, her heart melted. Ever since the final battle between good and evil Harry seemed to fall away from her for months now. He seemed to take the loss of Ron and Sirius the hardest. He ate, slept, and did school work. Not much else these days. Most people would think that after such a traumatizing experience Hermione and Harry would become closer friends, but they didn't.  
  
Hermione did not remember the fateful battle where Harry defeated Voldemort because Voldemorts last spell had hit her and sent her flying against a tree where she hit her head and lost all memory of the fight. Harry would not tell Hermione what had happened during the battle except that Ron and Sirius had lost their life while fighting the many Deatheaters. He thought he was doing her a favor by keeping the nightmarish memory from Hermione. However by not telling her, Harry only drove a wedge between their relationship. Although they never really talked with each other, the duo never left each others side. Each were afraid of being alone and if they left each other one would vanish from existence. Didn't matter how crazy that sounded.  
  
Hermione grieved and mourned for many months and in a sense she still had not recovered but Harry did not seem to ever come to terms with his grief. He immediately went to full zombie form and has not since came out of that faze.  
  
"I am sorry for disrupting your solitude. If you want me to go, I will." Hermione stated softly.  
  
"No," Harry spoke firmly, "I do not want you to go. I could actually use some company. It can get kind of lonely up here sometimes. All though I like the peacefulness, sometimes that peacefulness makes me feel empty. I know it is silly."  
  
"It is defiantly not silly. I feel the same way sometimes." Hermione told Harry while moving to sit across from him on the stone ground. "So what were you thinking about? I heard you talking to yourself trying to figure things out. Maybe I can help."  
  
Harry knew that she probably could help him with his problems, yet he hesitated knowing that this was one more problem that he would be adding to Hermione's already heavy load of burdens. But not telling was not an option. He knew that if he refused to tell, Hermione would just pester him until he finally opened up and told her what was on his mind. Resistance was futile.  
  
After playing the mental debate in his head for a few seconds he started talking. "Well, if you must know, I was thinking about what I am going to do after school. I know it sounds crazy but it isn't joke. The famous Harry Potter does not know what to do with his life."  
  
"Its not that crazy Harry." Hermione reassured.  
  
"But, I keep getting pestered by people wanting a definite answer to what I am going to spend the rest of my life doing. Lots of people want me to go into the ministry or become an auror to continue the ongoing battle with evil."  
  
"And you don't want to do that?" Hermione questioned.  
  
"No, I am tired of fighting evil forces and do not want to have to worry about evil creatures for my career. The thing is though, everybody expects that out of me." Harry confessed.  
  
"Who cares? You have sacrificed so much already for them. You have given up friends, family, and a normal life, not to mention many attempts on your own life. You have done all of these things for everybody else. It is about time that you do something for yourself. I know it may be a strange concept but you can't live your life for everybody else. I see you putting up that facade that you are strong and can handle all of the stress and expectations everybody has of you. You can't have the weight of the world on your shoulders, so stop acting like you can."  
  
Harry's shoulders slumped seeing that he could not fool his best friend. "Yeah, I know that. I just feel like it is my duty and I am tired of them wanting an answer and knowing that the answer they have been waiting for will not be a good one. I don't even know what to do with my life now that it isn't being constantly threatened. I guess I could go into quidditch."  
  
Hermione was pleased with that response. "That sounds like the best idea you have come up with for a long time. Getting paid for something you love to do and have a natural talent for. It does not get much better than that.'  
  
"Yeah, I guess it doesn't. What about you Hermione? What are your plans for after graduation?" Harry asked, his voice full of curiosity.  
  
"I might take one of the numerous researching jobs I have been offered."   
  
"Oh, not a researching job. You could do so much better. How about a teacher or something of the sort. It seems like a waste of your wide range of skills to do research for some old fogie."  
  
Hermione spoke a little indignantly, "Well, they pay well, and researching is something I enjoy to do."  
  
Harry raised his hands in surrender and laughed a full and deep laugh which had not been heard for numerous months now. "OK then, just asking. I think it is time we should be heading to the dormitories. We have been up here for quite some time." Harry stated while standing up to brush his pants off and stretch.  
  
Hermione followed suit and voiced her agreement. "It probably is getting late. What fine examples, us Head boy and girl make."  
  
Harry stared at Hermione a moment thinking about grateful he was to have such a great friend like her. "Thank you Hermione."  
  
"For what?" Hermione asked.  
  
"For just being you and helping me sort through all of these questions and answers."   
  
"Your welcome." Hermione said earnestly.  
  
Harry moved in and they both grabbed each other and hugged one another with all there strength. For the first time since that fateful December day the two of them reached for each other and had a truthful honest conversation. And it wouldn't be the last.  
  
And when the night is cloudy  
  
there's still a light that shines on me  
  
shine until tomorrow  
  
let it be  
  
I wake up to the sound of music  
  
Mother Mary comes to me   
  
speaking words of wisdom  
  
let it be  
  
A couple of weeks later.  
  
Hermione sat down her book she had been reading by her window to raise her eyes to stare outside. What happened to be a beautiful sunset had quickly transformed to a stormy night. Ominous clouds came rolling in threatening to start to pour down rain on the Hogwarts grounds The tranquitlity calmed her and she soon lost herself in thought about anything and everything from her classes, to graduation that was looming over the horizon, to Harry.  
  
These days Harry was her favorite subject to daydream about. Reoccurring feelings from the past popped up again. She did not fully grasp the extent of these emotions for Harry, but deep down somewhere, she knew they were there. However, Hermione did not know how to deal with these feelings, and for the most part ignored them but every now and then she found herself dreaming about his lean body, messy hair sticking up at all ends, and his full lips that looked so kissable. She would never admit to these thought so she kept them to herself and wandered around in dreamland.  
  
An anguished yell pulled Hermione back to reality. The yelling continued from the direction of Harry's room. Fearing that Harry was some how in trouble Hermione jumped up and darted to his bedroom. On the other side of the head boy and girl common room, Hermione yanked open his door and saw Harry rolling around in his sleep with a layer of sweat covering his body. Hermione instantly recognized the symptoms that always occurred whenever he had a nightmare. She was never told what these dreams were about but she knew in her heart that they were about her and Ron.  
  
Closing the space between the bed and her, Hermione sat down next to Harry and did the only thing she could do to help him. She rolled him over so he was partially in her lap and started to rock him.   
  
Harry immediately was wrenched from the darkness of his dreams because Hermione moving him. He cracked opened his eyes and set sight of his best friends beautiful face. Seeing her worried about him and the horrifying memory of her face pale and lifeless in his dreams brought tears to his eyes. Out of no where he broke into powerful sobs that wracked his whole body. Out of instinct he brought himself closer to her and held onto her while she rocked him trying to ease the pain and calm him.   
  
Remembering what her mother would do when she had a horrible nightmare, Hermione started to sing to Harry.  
  
Although her voice was not amazing in any way, it was sweet and warm to Harry and instantly started to calm him. Before he knew what hit him, he was dozing off and he finally fell asleep in Hermione's arms.  
  
Not having the heart to move him when he finally fell into what seemed a semi-peaceful rest Hermione herself started to fall asleep holding Harry. They stayed like this all night only to change positions when Harry laid down completely and pulled Hermione with him and enveloped her in his arms. That is how it always was from then on. Hermione came and rescued Harry from the darkness of dreamland and spread her love to him and lighting his way back to her.  
  
When I find myself in times of trouble  
  
Mother Mary comes to me  
  
speaking words of wisdom  
  
Let it be  
  
And in my hour of darkness  
  
she is standing right in front of me  
  
speaking words of wisdom  
  
let it be  
  
A few weeks later  
  
Graduating day at Hogwarts was even more spectacular than any holiday or ball. The great hall sparkled in grandeur as hundreds of chairs were set up in front of a raised stage that had all presiding faculty. The enchanted ceiling was a clear glittering blue sky shining upon them all as their were only a few wispy clouds to be found. Around forty students sat right in front of the headmaster now speaking at the podium. Hundreds of family members and friends sat behind the graduating class. Most of the women were a tad bit weepy while the men were trying to hide that they were feeling just as sad.  
  
Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were sitting next to each other in the front row holding each others hand for support. The two felt little joy on their graduation day. Both minds kept wondering to the third person who should have been their with them. Not to mention Harry knew his own Godfather should be there congratulating and saying how proud he was of him. But he wasn't.  
  
Harry was thankful that he did have Remus Lupin but it didn't feel the same without Sirius there as well. Sirius and Lupin had been inseparable the last couple of years and Harry saw how close those two really were. They were always joking and misbehaving as if they were 15 again. When Sirius had passed away though, Lupin became withdrawn and never seemed to have the same bounce in his step.  
  
The Weasley's were there as well, wanting to support Harry and Hermione and be a sort of honorary family to Harry. They knew that Harry took Ron's death very hard and he partially blamed himself for the death. The family held no resentments whatsoever towards Harry and they wished that he would leave the regret behind in the past. But he seemed not to be able to do so.  
  
Dumbledore had been making his usual 'I am proud of you all and you all are wonderful wizards and will succeed in this world' speech when his voice started to darken and switch gears to another topic. "This year has been one of the happiest yet darkest years in wizard history. Although the dark lord was once and for all defeated we can not forget the many that had lost their lives to the cause. Two being the Defence Against Dark Arts professor Sirius Black and a student from this very graduating class, Ronald Weasley." He made a brief pause to let his words sink in. Molly Weasley let out a faint sob but other than that the great hall was dead silent. "Those two and many others made the ultimate sacrifice to the good of mankind. Was it unfair that they were taken from us? Maybe, but then who knows what destiny has in store for us all. We must never let the memory of those brave souls and the countless other fade from our mind."  
  
Dumbledore's voice was smooth and steady letting his emotion and honesty come across. He took a brief pause before continuing once again. "Tonight I would like to award two of those students that fought beside myself, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Ron Weasley. These two have experienced more adventure, happiness, and pain in these seven years than most people experience in a lifetime. These two people have set superior examples for the student population and have overcome all obstacles that have been in their way. I wish you would all help me recognize these two students who will get awards for services to the school. Ms. Hermione Granger and Mr. Harry Potter."  
  
Everybody in the great hall voiced their agreement of them deserving the award. Even Malfoy knew the pain and anguish Harry and Hermione had gone through and was not ashamed in the least of voicing his approval of them receiving the award. Lupin and the Weasley's stood up and clapped for the head boy and girl.  
  
Harry was the first to stand but he did not head towards the podium. He instead walked purposefully, not showing any emotion, out of the hall and outside into the sunshine. This left Hermione dumb struck and unable to think. Her mind tried wrapping itself around all these events and finally came to the fact that she must stand up and accept this award on their behalf.   
  
Standing up, Hermione felt extremely jelly-legged and very dizzy. She slowly made her way towards the headmaster mulling over in her head what she was going to say. Finally in distance of Professor Dumbledore she reached her hand out to shake his. Dumbledore returned the gesture and stepped aside for her to take the podium.  
  
Hermione gazed out at the many faces in the crowd and immediately felt faint. Her eyes registered her own family smiling reassuringly at her, the Weasleys looking proud of her yet worried about Harry's little display. She then glanced at all of her fellow students and her eyes locked with Draco's. The memory came flooding back to her on how Draco, after hearing about the what had happened to them and Ron, had came up to them and apologized for everything he had done in the past and how great of person Ron had been. He had sincerely apologized for what had happened and hoped they could be friends. Although it did not come easily they did start the foundations of a friendship.  
  
All of these thoughts were racing through her head as she remembered she must speak to these people. She felt the coolness as tears started flowing freely from her eyes, but she kept control over herself, at least long enough to speak. " I am sorry for Harry's actions but today has been a really rough day on the both of us." Practically everybody nodded their head in understanding and urging her to continue. "I could not tell you how honored we are that you would choose us for this but we could not fully except this without dedicating it to Ron. He did the real service to the school by making the ultimate sacrifice for what he believed in most. He knew that light would always overcome darkness and The Dark Lord would sometime be defeated. Knowing this, he accepted fully that he might sometime take part in that final battle and he took this like every Gryffindor would, with more courage and bravery than anyone could think possible. He continued this display of bravery until his last breath. I dedicate this to Ron, Sirius and all of those souls that lost their life for what they believed in. Thank you" Hermione concluded accepting two medals.  
  
As smoothly as possible she stepped down the stage and immediately headed out towards the outdoors where she saw Harry head after their names had been announced. Finally she reached the great oak doors that separated her from outside. Opening them she peered out and skimmed over the wide open grounds. Finally she saw him in the middle of the grass staring up at the sky.   
  
Hermione sprinted towards Harry as fast as she could. He did not even notice when she stopped five feet from him, he was to lost in his thoughts.   
  
Hermione however quickly brought him back to his surroundings. "Here is your medal." She stated holding out the silver medal with an intricate gold design.  
  
"I don't want it" Harry said coolly  
  
"Take it," Hermione commanded.  
  
So, Harry did what Hermione had done pocketed the medal like it was nothing   
  
Hermione broke the silence that lay between them. "What the hell was that?" Hermione yelled.  
  
"I don't know." Harry mumbled not meeting her eyes since he was still staring at the sky.   
  
"I don't know." She imitated Harry. "Gosh damnit Harry why did you do that? I needed you up their with me."  
  
"You don't need me." Harry stated firmly now turning towards her, locking her eyes with his.  
  
"Of course I need you Harry, what are you talking about?" Hermione questioned frustrated.  
  
"Like hell you need me. You don't need to be killed like Ron" Harry raised his voice, finally able to speak what has been on his mind. "You don't need this. Nobody needs me. By being related to me in any sense automatically puts you in harms way. I hurt everybody who is apart of my life."  
  
Hermione felt herself slowly understand why Harry had been distant for the last half of a year. "Is that what you think? It's not true."  
  
"Yes it is. I killed Ron and Sirius. I hurt the Weasley's by killing their youngest son. I hurt Lupin by causing the death of his best friend. You were hurt from Ron's death. Damnit"  
  
"No you didn't. Even if you did not come into play in that final battle. Ron and Sirius would have died. It was out of your control. The decision whether they wanted to be apart of all of the fighting was up to them and they chose it well knowing all of the risks."  
  
"Why Ron and Sirius though. They had so much going for them?" Harry questioned his voice cracking with emotion.  
  
"We will never know. Accepting that they are gone is all we can do." Hermione spoke quietly trying to keep her emotions in check.  
  
"You don't understand though. Sirius had finally gotten his life on track and regained what he had lost for those twelve years in prison and another year and a half on the run. He had finally gotten what he had wanted, a normal life. You don't even know about Ron. A few days before his death he had told me how he had secured a job in the ministry through his dad and brother Percy. The job was respectful and gave himself a lot of securities. Ron could not have been happier because he had finally worked up the nerve to tell me that he was going to propose to Lavender on Christmas Eve. They had been dating for about two years now and he felt so happy with her. Ron new they were young but thought that their engagement would be a couple of years, long enough to make a life for themselves. He never even got the chance at the family or life that he deserved."  
  
Harry told the story with little emotion but the thought of Ron never living out his dream to have a large family broke him down. All the grief that had been held in for the months finally came out in a flood of emotions. For the first time since Ron's death Harry cried for his lost friend and the life he never was able to have.  
  
Hermione could not believe that Harry had never told her this. Ron was taken from them only weeks before he was going to propose and start to live his dream. All the grief Hermione thought she had come to terms with came over her in an overwhelming amount. She then saw Harry start to shed the first tears for their friend and she herself then started to weep. She silently wept but soon knew that Harry needed her more than ever at that very moment.   
  
She reached up and held his face in her hands forcing him to look in her eyes. "I can not agree more that what had happened was unfortunate and confusing as to why it happened but listen to me. Never blame yourself for what happened. Ron and Sirius would never want you to feel that way about what happened. You must succumb to sadness and grieve for your friend and godfather. You are only human and nothing more. Don't expect yourself to be a super hero and handle all the pain."  
  
Harry nodded silently staring into her eyes. He felt his heart skip a few beats at the emotion she displayed. This however only made him sob even harder.   
  
Hermione wrapped her arms around Harry and comforted him by speaking soothing words into his ear. Harry was calmed by this sweet gesture for it was not the words that mattered but it was the love that filled her voice. Silently Harry reminded himself how lucky he was that he had Hermione to guide him through the dark times that he went through. She was his light that sent warmth to him and made him believe that maybe there was some good in the world. That there was a love out their worth living for and somehow things will work themselves out if you just let it be.  
  
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be  
  
whisper words of wisdom  
  
let it be  
  
(A/N) If you like this story you should go and read Growing Closer which takes place 3 ½ years after this one. Well, thank you for the reviews on my other stories and hope that you will r/r this story too. 


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